Learning to type again ...

Using a text editor to key in text is not as fast as i am hoping for.

Changing my keyboard type is not helping much.

At the end am back to using the gingerbread keyboard in portrait mode. My finger or more specifically my thumb is fighting for dominance of the limited space on the phone.

That's it for today's report on using my Galaxy S2.

:: Posted from my Samsung Galaxy S2 ::

The world according to me...

Am trying to learn of a new way to blog by using two hands to type what I want on the phone without looking at the keypad.

It seems to be working.

With some mostly finger mistakes littered all throughout the post.

But it does seem possible for me to put up a lengthy post without a lot of hassle. Gingerbread stock keyboard seems to be able to handle my typing with ease.

Interestingly enough that it manages to guess most of what I need without too much trouble. Though changing words in the middle of a written sentence can be a bit of a chore.

Fully posted with my Samsung Galaxy S2.

Putting aside the ego ...

I had an excuse before that I had no way to conveniently put postings up here because I had no way of immediately putting my thoughts into words and post it into the blogsphere. So imagine my surprise when I still don't post enough up here since I got my new fangled Samsung galaxy S2 seven days ago.

I thought I would be jumping straight back in and pushing my thoughts and words to you all constantly.

But the truth is ...

... I am just too distracted to do everything.

Distracted in the general area of work, life and addiction.

The first 2 is easy enough to interpret without bringing out Ms.Miriam Webster.

So what is that addiction part that I am talking about?

That would be something that I generally term as Lust.
Yes, Lust.
No sugar coating.
No beating around the bush.

Straight simple Lust.

Yes, sex is involved.
But its not the only thing involved.

Here is the wiki definition of the word.
Which is more or less accurate.
But the version that I am inkling here about is closer to what Meher Baba's talks about.

Its about the weight of the mind which makes daily life a heavy subject instead of its true form of simplicity and delightfulness.

I am not the only one which is having this anchor in their heads.
Most people around us have it, in one form or another.
Mine is centered around my need for gratification in sensual urges.
The wife understands this and helps me along.
And I am truly grateful for her love and support.
While gracefully recovering with the withdrawal symptoms slowly ebbing away.

Am I still addicted to sex?

Lets now put it in perspective.
I am beginning to really enjoy it again instead of just seeking the high it brings.
The jubilation comes in the form of every action that is associated in the process of achieving the orgasming finale.
But please remember that orgasm is merely a part of sex, its not the only thing (which I was addicted to).
And I believe the wife sense it as well because she seems much happier than before.
Her happiness gives me more ecstasy than everything else in the world.
Which is why I believe the name of the action eventually becomes making love.
As that is what we are doing.

So why am I posting this here?
Such personal thoughts are not something that most will share.
But I learned that part of the process for recovery is to acknowledge that I have a problem and not hide it from the world. To share my experience and to allow it to come to light so that I can move on from it.

Lust is a confusion of the mind and soul.
In order to awake from it, one must embrace the truth of it and not shy away from the consequences.
It is not easy but it is quite simple.

One more thing, I will like to thank again for your continuous support of this blog.
Though most of you do not leave any remarks but I know (from Google Analytics) that you visit here often.

So thank you all.
Might the light shine your path always.

There is something in the air ...

After getting into having pain killers as a staple diet for a few weeks, its nice to be finally off it and gain some semblance of normality in life.

Being like "house" is not something that people should aspire to be.

The best part of it is that my body no longer smell like a walking dispensary.

Blogging on the droid...

Finally succumbed to the power of The Android Army.

Hope to have more stuff to share in the future.

Hi ho silver away.

Hurt but not broken ...

When we act like the way we do, is it really a mystery that we get what we get?

Point in matter is something that I recently went through.
A former coworker (one which I never did really liked) saw me and ignored me even though I was talking to him on the street. He just plain ignored me and talked to the person beside me instead.

Now, truth be told, I felt rather hurt by this.
So it bugged be the entire day up until midnight when I realized that I was being stupid.
I mean, I use to treat him with contempt when we were working together.
So why in the world should he treat me any other way?
Why am I unhappy or in shock over his apparent attitude towards me.
I reap what I sow.

That is what got to me at the end.
Though I never liked the guy, I don't hate him, I just never enjoyed his work etiquette and managerial skills. So I gave the guy a hard time all through the tenure of our working relationship.

In simple term, I was a pain in the ass to him.

So here and now, why should I be surprised by his mannerism towards me?

Just because I forgive and forgot does not mean that others will do the same.
So here is me saying to myself, "Dude, smell the roses."
For whatever reasons that I had for what I did back then, it was yesterday and I salvaged all that I could of that situation.

There is no excuse for being a jerk.
With so many ways to achieve the same outcome, I chose the most direct way.
An experience which I learned and keep within my book.

Learning using the trial by error route gives us a lot of pain and scars.
Sometimes it hurts so much that one can only surmised it as being an idiot for making that choice.
But chose I did and I embrace the hurt that came with it.
There are always 2 sides of every incident.
A pro and a con.
And I need to learn from both of them.

Yes, I am hurt.
But I am not yet broken.
Will keep on moving.
Keep on learning.
Keep living.

Someone once said that the only way we know we are still alive is because we can still feel the pain of living. I am not sure if its true or not, but it does sound "zen-ish".

Catching the breeze ...

Not to be too blunt but life has been good lately.
The definition of good is open to debate though.

I have manage to crack my collar bone a few weeks back.
Lost and gained some unneeded weight.
Pissed off 70% of my work force.
And I manage put myself in a Benedict Arnold type of situation where if I fail, it would be so spectacular it should go down in the history books as the "idiot that did that".

Yet through out the whole weeks of all these happenings, I found something that over shadows everything.

I found peace.

In the middle of all the turmoil, I looked upon the heavens to seek divine intervention.
And I got only one answer.
And the word was "Embrace It".

Well, it was more than just words, there were visuals to help me comprehend the concept of it.
But the gist of it was just that.

Embrace it all.
Take it in.
Be at peace.

The usual me would try to say more.
But the truth is, there is nothing more to say.
They used to call these a "particular faith".
And I can't find a better description for it.

Paper blogging - 20110704

For those who can't read my writing, here is the plain text version

4 | July
Fear is a constant in life
Ignoring it will not lessen its impact
Embracing it can left help lessen its power
But facing it head on despite every fiber of our body complaining is the only way we can move forward.

Some call it courage.
I don't feel courageous at all.
I feel sick and scared.
But I will not run away.
If this is what it takes to do the right thing.
Then fear can take it up the ass.
I am going to do what I should.

PS: I made some spelling changes in the text version, apparently I don't spell so well without a computer under my fingers.