In the beginning was the WORD ...

... and it was changed.

Reading books gives us the perspectives that usually elude us during our day to day grind.
Yet things like "Same shit, different day" says more about the kind of life that people live even though they don't like it better then any book will ever be able to.

So here is another version of the well known verse of John 1:1 that is simply cathartic.
Yes blasphemous.
But somehow true.
Settling in a strange way.

The world today is very much in need of the WORD.
And it knows it.
But we actively refuse to accept it.
Even among the believers, it’s hard to take the "red pill"

So they change it.

Subtlety.
But surely.

Make it easier to digest.

But in so doing, makes the WORD different from its original intention.

So what is the WORD?

Maybe I should say it properly.
What is the WORD to you?

Note:
This is not a religious posting.
Though from out right it might seem to be.
Its more of what I have been dreaming about the last few nights.
My muse maybe?

Go fetch ...

Case 1:

Standing innocently by the coffee counter, a young woman comes over and asked me this.

"Can you tell me which one of these packets are sugar?"

I smiled and pointed her to the container of brown packets that had a "Sugar" sign on top of them.

She blushed, thanked me and rushed off with 4 packets of quality brown sugar in her hand.

Case 2:

While waiting for a cab by the road, a car stopped beside me and asked me this.

"Can you direct me to the 1 Utama shopping center?"

I smiled and pointed to my back and said "This is it. Take a left to the car park and your set."

The lady driver blushed, thanked me and rushed off to the parking area as indicated.

Case 3:

As the elevator door was closing, a young girl suddenly rushed in seconds before the door closed.

Finding her actions amusing, I smiled and asked her "Which floor?"

"Do you know which floor is for TrackMe.com?"

"Sure. There are on the ninth floor."

1 minute later, I walked out the elevator, buzzed opened my office door and said to the young lady "Welcome to TrackMe.com. How can we help you today?"

The young lady blushed and smiled sweetly back at me.

These stories can go on and on.
I have plenty of them.
And it happens to me almost on a daily basis.
Just this morning, a girl walks up to me to ask me if I knew how to go to the KL Convention Center when I was leaving the LRT station.

There is a pattern to these occurrence of course.

There are almost always of the female gender.
There are almost always asking me stuff which is very near to where we are already.
There almost always blush before they leave my presence.

I must have a neon sign on top of me (like those avatars in The Sim) that introduces me as an NPC for information gathering.

I should actually feel proud that people think I am trustworthy enough to be approached without fear or repercussion.

Or maybe I look like a soft target that is susceptible to be tricked or mugged.

Can't say really what it is.

I doubt I will ever understand the motivation of their thinking.

My love of life though has a theory that says its because I am now domesticated and people can tell.

Maybe she's right?

FACT 20100722-A

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Sharpening the saw ...

I have been trying to kick myself into gear for the pass few weeks.
Putting away my hobbies.
Spending more time with my wife.
Being more integrated into work.
All in all a successful venture.

But it still seems like the momentum that I am trying to achieve is not there.
As if an unseen force is holding me back from moving ahead faster than I am hoping for.

Is it a withdrawal symptom of change?
A change (though desperately needed) that the mind and body is reluctant to accept without first exerting its views?

I tell my wife whenever she is feeling the need to be bitchy that it’s ok to be bitchy.
It’s the mind trying to recalibrate itself into doing the right thing.
That and the fact that the body's hormone is shifting into a different dosage level.
A scientific explanation to why the woman gender as a whole is given a free pass whenever their menstruation cycle comes visiting.

The sensible explanation though would be that our mind is trying to offload whatever crap that it believes to be taking space in its mental dominion.

My friends though say that I am a load of crap and that I should just admit that I am more afraid of my wife than any man known to live.

I beg to differ.
I know at least a couple other dudes that are more afraid of their wife’s than me.

I digress (as usual) from the topic.

The point of the matter here is me feeling that I should be going faster as time goes by.
Yet instead I am feeling like I am loosing steam.
So I am again re-looking at my SOP to see what I missed out or ways that it can be improved.

Why does it sound as if I am treating my life like work?

Because Life is and will always be a Work In Progress.
And I prefer an orderly approach to things whenever possible.

FACT 20100718-A

How long does a man need to walk before he admits he is lost?

Basically nothing ...

Its been a while, so ...

Its rather benign
when it comes to love
Its there most of the time
but we don't ever see it properly
Maybe its just the weather
it makes things mushy
unattainable to the nth degree
Yet ...
consistently leering by the corner of our eyes

Or could it be simpler than what we think
Not the constant struggle of who sacrifice more
or the unending urge to hold on to everything

Just the easy stuff
like spring breeze and autumn sighs
Or making breakfast in the morning
and good night kisses on the forehead
Nothing huge or world changing
Simple gestures that has meanings
Bacon, cheese and omelette's
food for the yearning soul.

Started the whole poem from the last two phrase.
Says a lot of my creative muse.

Attention on the deck ...

Lets talk about something that is less serious.

I received my brand new Dell Studio 15 last Thursday.
It’s like a birthday gift for me from me.

I know I just bought a Dell Studio 14 last year, so why in the world am I buying another one now?

The reason is simply because all my computers at home have gone to the deep end.
Yes.
All of them.

My PC went offline 2 months back.

And my old Inspiron notebook whom has been a steady friend since 2002 is now showing signs of retirement.

The battery connector no longer works.
The PCMCIA card (which happens to be my only method of connecting to WIFI) will suddenly go offline unless I unplug the whole card and reinsert it again.
The LCD screen is becoming dimmer by the day.
And last but not least, the CPU seems to be telling me that it’s no longer able to cope with my current life style.

So my wife said that maybe I should get another notebook and keep the Studio 14 at home so that she can use it.

Hence is why I have the new Studio 15.

All in all, I quite like the new notebook.
Running on Windows 7 Professional, I found that it runs quite nicely without a lot of resource hungry stuff running around in the background.

Though the Start Menu is somewhat of a nuisance to me due to the fact that it’s totally non user friendly to a person who is used to the XP experience. None of the menu items are shown in way that is distinctive for simple user selection. I would have much preferred the old menu method.

The new taskbar is rather interesting as I could PIN object onto it and make them simpler to handle if I have multiple of the same application running.
The Aero view though sounds like a cool feature to me is merely cosmetic and does not post any pull factor at all.

What I do enjoy playing around with is the Virtual PC that is installable for Windows 7 Professional and above.
It allows me to create a simple environment for me to do testing as well as development without having to install multiple OS to cater for it.
Creating these small worlds to test new applications is something that used to need apps like VMWare to do.
Under certain cases, VMWare would still be the better solution but just to find a way to test a newly minted Application, the virtual PC is more than enough for this requirement.

I have not fully played with all the other gadgets in Windows 7 but off the bat it seems like a more solid investment than the previous Vista releases.
Let’s see if it can take over what XP has given me for the last 10 years.

"What did XP give you for the last 10 years?"
Simply this ... a peace of mind.

Where does one pin it ...

"The problem itself is the problem"

That saying often irks everyone that is facing it.
That would include me.

The statement clearly states that the real problem does now live in the words but of the essence of the problem.
The sheer fact that we are asking that question IS the problem by itself.

Its worst than a chicken and egg question.

So in order to NOT have the problem I should never ask the question?

Am I making sense?

Of course not.

When we are in the thick of it, we are often blind to the reality of the situation.
We react to it and try desperately to put out the fires as it emerges.

And that is what the statement is trying to teach us.
Don't just put out the fire.
Don't just react.
The issue then becomes why is the fire there in the first place?

We often tell our subordinate that they should solve the symptom now and find the cause later.
Is that true?
Does that method work?

What if the symptoms don't stop?
What if it spreads and causes other symptoms?

We will be overwhelmed by the action of putting out fires instead of solving the problem totally.

And this is where the following words will usually be uttered
"But isn't putting out the fire solving the problem one part at a time? We can't be everywhere? So we must do what we can."

It by itself is not wrong.
But as an answer to a solution, it actually is.

Sometimes we need to stop trying to solve a problem before we truly see the problem for what it truly is.

In a nutshell (which is my brain) the interpretation of the statement would then be this.

"In order to solve the problem properly, we should solve the need to ask the question first."

There is much more to be said about this topic.
And I think I should stop here to ponder it more.

... to be continued

... and where does it end?

Dear Bully,
:) ... we are the romantics when it comes to these topics.

Thus for me as a practical person that wish to understand the science of everything, I need to see things as they are. Most of our actions are exactly like what izso states "a chemical reaction of the brain".

These chemical reactions are oftentimes so complex that it’s almost unable to be quantified in any usable formula. It’s not a simple equation. But at the end, it is basically still an equation.

Yet even knowing this particular fact, it just seems like there should be more than just a bunch of trigger happy neurons that is in play.

One of the best arguable topics currently are these questions of life.

What defines it?
If it’s alive does it mean it has a soul?
Thus what is the definition of the soul?

I am a software developer and I write computer codes for a living. To say that the modules/components that I write are alive does sometime seem to be true (in a very surface kind of sense). They behave and react to the rules that we put in.

But sometimes, they tend to do something outside of our suppose logic.
We usually call that bugs.
But is it really?
Or is it a unique character trying to come out of hiding.

The programs that we do today are pretty simple and dumb. So to expect this argument to have a usable answer based on what we do today is somewhat ludicrous.

Yet there are codes out there now that are encouraged to evolve it self by its creator. It is given a free reign to change and manipulate itself to suit the needs of the environment. No complex logic is put in to control its action, only the" how to" that it is allowed to modify its code to its own needs.

And it is this kind of coding that I sometimes sit down and admire. I see them slowly mutating and shedding away the useless binaries that make up its existence. Moving around the nodes and weights, storing them to future usage. Painting something that no one other than a parent can appreciate.

It makes its own decision.
It reacts to its environment.
It seems to be cognitive when seen within the confines of its world.
Like a simple cell organism that interacts with its virtual environment.

Dare we even venture and ask THE QUESTION?

Is it alive?

I would love to think so.

Yet just like what izso says in the comments.
It’s really just a bunch of codes doing what its programmer tasked it to do.
That is a fact.
But does it end there?
Should it?

One will need to examine the program instruction itself in order to truly realize the impact that it brings.

So what is its programming?

In a nutshell, simply this.

Be Alive.

And if so, does it too have a soul?
Or just a series of "chemical" reactions.

Where does it start?

The mark of a person is of their heart and not their brain ...

What has the vascular blood pumping contraption to do with being a person?
Nothing at all.
The heart in biological term is merely the equipment that helps pushes blood fluid throughout our body.
Its sole function is to keep things moving.
No more. No less.

What we commonly term as THE HEART is really the soul of a person.
Our ancestors used to believe that what makes a person live is what the heart gives them.
The center of their universe begins from there.

So what is a soul?

According to WIKI

"The soul, in some religions, spiritual traditions, and philosophies, is the incorporeal or eternal part of a living being, commonly held to be separate from the body. Many philosophical and religious systems teach that humans have souls; some attribute souls to all living things and even inanimate objects (such as rivers); this belief is commonly called animism. The soul is often believed to exit the body and live on after a person’s death, and some religions posit that God creates souls."

Another definition from a chap name Yanki Tauber is ...

"The soul is the self, the "I" that inhabits the body and acts through it. Without the soul, the body is like a light bulb without electricity, a computer without the software, a space suit with no astronaut inside. With the introduction of the soul, the body acquires life, sight and hearing, thought and speech, intelligence and emotions, will and desire, personality and identity."

The soul as prescribed from the Bible is

"The Biblical definition of a soul is simply a breathing body. Notice that the text does not say that man was given a soul, but rather he became a soul. A soul is not something a person has, it is the person. Souls have blood (Jeremiah 2:34). Not only are people souls, but so are fish and animals (Revelation 16:3)."

Thus if I were to put all these definition together, it simply comes to mean the Body of Life.
Or to be a little more exact, the Essence that is Life.

It is what gives us the ability to live.
The navigator of our worldly being.

With it come more questions.
Is it corporeal?
Does it have an expiry date?
Is it real?
Does that mean there truly is a Heaven? And Hell?

My answer would be "Does it matter?"

To some, it does.
It is important to them because the answers will eventually be the basis of their future decision making process.

If there is such a thing as life after death, then maybe we should be less evil?
If there is no such thing as life after death, then why should I stop myself from doing whatever that I want?
Or if the soul can exit its current vessel, can it in fact infest our souls into another vessel?
Might we even be able to control the souls of others by forcefully limiting their control over the vessels that reside in?

A very materilistic/militistic approach to such a philosophical/moralistic question.

The fear of the consequences that will appear when these questions are answered.
Thus so show the true nature of these souls.

The old believers state that animals have no soul because they don't have faith.
So in saying that negates all beings that is not of the faith to be soulless within their narrow interpretation.
The current believers are a little more lenient on that aspect and have broadened its understanding of the subject, though not by much.
Where the souls of the faithless are open for grabs by both heaven and hell.
Such arrogance.

The reality of the matter is much simpler and less dramatic.

All that is, IS.
All there will be, WILL BE.
All that is pass, is NO MORE.

Humankinds make things so complex when life is so simple.
The brain tends to get in the way of the truth.
Our soul is what we make ourselves to be.
The soul of a person IS the person themselves.
We are at the end what we do and choose to be.

Of the greatest power that man has is our free will.
The ability to make decisions.
Good or Evil, it’s your choice.
It’s your soul.
Just know that it is you that will need to live it with it for the rest of eternity.

Its not about sex ...

There are times when people wonder what their life has come to?

There are even times when people wonder if their life have ever came at all.

So much so there are books (a lot of them) about these kind of subjects.

"Chicken soup for the soul" they say.

Believe it or not, reading books like them actually helps when you are down in the gutter.

Before mother passed on to the other side, she had one of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books by the bedside.

My sister bought it to help cheer mom up during her therapy sessions.

Am not saying that it takes the pain away.
Its more like helping her cope with the pain instead.
Understanding that the pain is not the only thing that she can feel when it seems to be so.

Harder said than done.

Not sure why I am talking about this now.
But it seem like a topic that just pop into my brain while typing.

Thanks for reading.
Good night.

Oh ... such beauty blinds me fully ...

Drama and suspense ensue whenever I walk out of the KLCC philharmonic entrance.

Huh?
What are you blabbering about?
What drama?
What suspense?

There is nothing outside the KLCC philharmonic entrance other than a few rows of water fountains and a (rather nice looking) garden.

Have you gone out of you mind?
Your schizophrenia finally surfaced long enough for people to see who you are?


Nope.
The statement was done with my noggin fully intact and crystal clear.

The drama and suspense I am referring to is the relationships between the KLCC traffic personnel and the Taxi drivers that ride in front of the mall trying to get a fare.

Drama?
Was anyone crying?

I the teary version was not seen but there was a lot of "crying out loud" kind of scenario.
The traffic personnel blow their whistles to remind the taxi drivers that this is a "no pickup zone".
The taxi drivers reminds the traffic personnel that "they don't give a damn" by stopping right smack in the middle of the road and honking their horns.

You can almost see the conversations that these two parties play from their horns and whistles.
If you really concentrate you can hear the overture quite perfectly portrayed.
The hate.
The anger.
The lost.

Ok. I get the drama part. But what of the suspense?
I don't see any death or betrayal.
What kind of suspense are we talking about here?

Ah. You are looking for pain and suffering.
No. No. No.
The suspense is within the conversation of the taxi drivers and the potential passengers.
They call out with their car horns, attracting attention.
They wave their hands to beckon the passengers to come.
Yet, the passengers stand there.
Waiting.
Calculating.
Thinking.

Should I or shouldn’t I?

The question so loud that it drums out all other noise.
For one whole heart wrenching minute every one is poised waiting for the answer.
To make it even more exiting, you have the evil traffic personnel slowly looming towards the taxi's blowing their whistles.
Threatening to scare off these passengers with their high shrilling antics.

So how can this not be drama and suspense?
Their performance is so perfect.
Truly an art form that needs to be appreciated more.

You are nuts.
Really.
Nuts.