I had dreams of these ...

The strangest thing that is going through my head these days are that of dreams ranging from 'oblivion' the game to 'how best to make a proper English Breakfast set'. I can't explain it, hence the strange part.

People may find all these dreams to be a sign of things to come or of things that might be.

Me? It smells like my brain trying to sort out the junk from the jewels.

Or maybe is it the other way around.

There are so many things that go through our life that it's not inconceivable that our consious mind can't process them all. So it outsourced it to the subconscious to handle the overflow.

The dreams of vivid and I know that I am dreaming. It's bizarre in that manner as well.

I am obviously chalking this up the stress alley. Fear is as strong a feeling as well as a motivation. And I believe that this stress that I am feeling is fear induced. Coming up to the big 40. It's guaranteed to bring up some boogey mans.

Let the dance begin.

The thing in which we see ...

We all try to be the best that we can be. But often fall short from the mark.

That's ok.

It's actually fine to be off by a bit.

The secrete is to aim high so that even in failure it's not too bad.

Some might say that it's planning for failure, to all their own oppion.

Me? It's call plan B.

And plan C and D and E.

I plan for everything and anything possible.

Is this a failure mentality? Not having enough balls to hang it out there?

Well it depends on who you talk to then.

There is a fine line between being courages and being stupid. Success favours the prepared mind. And a prepared mind always has more than one plan on deck.

Be the best.

Prepare for the worst.

Expect everything in between.

Quadrant II ...

Trying to put everything of ones life into four little boxes used to be simple for me. Those were the days where the most important stuff in life circled around things like work and getting laid.

Now that I have those particular things checked off from my checklist, it became a bit blurry for my "important stuff to do list".

Eventually though things catch up and I have to address them. The reality is seldom what we expect them to be.

Of course some people might say that I should have gotten my act together much earlier.

Me, the plan ahead guy.

Me, the know what is best for everyone person.

Me, the have an answer to everything jerk.

Well lets put it simply.

I am not perfect.

Never had been.

I might know what to do but it does not mean I can solve all things without mistakes. Hell I expect that I make more mistakes than the usual Joe for the sheer fact that 'I know' what the mistakes are.

So here I am doing my thing.

Trying to walk my talk without tripping all over the floor.

Hopefully be able to pick up all the right clues and do the right thing.

Should this ever be of any help to others, this is exactly what I envisioned the meaning of life to be.

Somethings should be more important than being urgent ...

Have been falling sick very often these days. So much so my boss is thinking of sending me to a health farm. That is his round about way of telling me his pissed off at my attendance ratio.

Strangely though I am not too bothered by what he thinks.

Why?

Because I am rearranging my quadrant objectives.

I am shifting the important and urgent stuffs around. Its essential that I do this as my gut says its time.

Life is going to be fun again.

Paper plane ...

Every morning when I go to work, I wonder what I will be archiving today.

It's not a hard question or complex mystery.

But yet it tends to have no answer.

It's almost like asking for the meaning of life itself.

Of a thought that is totally out of context, I think the most asked question in the world right now would be what's for breakfast.

This is me now.

Thoughts jumping around.

Learning to type using 2 thumbs and make less mistakes as possible.

So back to topic.

What will I be achieving today?

What contribution would I be putting put to this world?

Is it a surprise that I have no answers?

Or is that suppose to be the right answer?

Not knowing.

Just doing it and see what the day will bring.

Seriously.

I don't know.

But at least I have asked the question.

And now I am going to find the answer.

Mistakes ...

Once a while I remiss into a state of depression that takes me back to the times where all the mistakes I made in life comes haunting every corner of my mind.

Things that I could have done differently.

Choices that would have made things better instead of what it is now.

And everyone of them hurts as much as it had been when it happened.

Plus the fact that I have taken near to one whole month to type this post says something.

Unfortunately I still don't hear it yet.

These mistakes reminds me of the fragility that we all wear on our sleeves but ignore until its too late.

Therapy is required I think.

Definitely.